Seminary Weeks 10 & 11

I cannot believe I only have 2 weeks of class left. Two weeks of class and then finals (so 3 weeks total). That is cuh-razy.

Before I start, This is how my cat, Bob Wiley, helps me study.

I don't really have a lot to update at this point. I keep a running blog every Thursday while I’m in class. I think that pretty much covers everything I need to say. I guess I’ll add a few things about the last couple of weeks (really it will be more about the weeks to come) and I’ll throw in a Formation paper, maybe two if you’re good.

I have really enjoyed my classes this semester. Faith & Hope has been my favorite. It may not prove to be the most useful in my ministry, but it has definitely been the most interesting. I think Pastoral Care will prove to be the most useful of my classes this semester. I’ve also really enjoyed Formation. I like my group. They are a fun bunch. Intro to New Testament will prove useful.

2 weeks ago in Formation we talked about our gifts. I doing so, we had to write a paper about the gifts we see in ourselves and the gifts we see in our covenant partners. I did not enjoy this assignment. I’ve said this before I’m not good at seeing or naming my gifts. Here’s the paper I wrote about me:

Formation for Ministry

March 31, 2011

Writing this paper is intimidating for me. I, like so many others as Elizabeth O’Connor pointed out, have trouble identifying my gifts. (It was nice to know that I am not alone.) Part of the problem is an over-active sense of humility (which I have now negated by even mentioning it); part of the problem is a poor sense of self-evaluation; mostly, I’m just afraid I’ll be wrong. I don’t want to proclaim that I am gifted in some area only to be proven wrong by my performance in that area. So what gifts do I see in me? Honestly, most of the time, I see none. Other times I see many. Then I feel ashamed of my arrogance and pride and return to seeing none. So, I will defer to those around me. What gifts have others seen in me that I have learned to embrace?

Teaching comes to mind first. I used this gift for many years as a youth minister, but I think it has developed more fully over the last 4-5 years. Shortly after I arrived at Edgemont (the church I currently attend) our pastor put me to work teaching the youth. Not long after that I joined a rotation of teachers for my Sunday School class. I began receiving compliments each time I led our class, much to my surprise. Soon I began leading book studies as part of our Wednesday night programming. Again, the participants enjoyed the classes. Most importantly, I enjoyed leading & teaching the classes.

Another alleged gift I have embraced is writing. Several years ago I began writing a blog. I basically used it as an online journal. Then I began telling stories from my life and writing editorial style rants on politics, religion, etc. People at church began asking when I would write another entry and telling me how much they enjoyed the posts. I also write songs. I don’t consider them particularly good, but, again, my fellow church members and band members seem to like them. We use 4-5 songs I wrote in our worship rotation.

I thought that last paragraph was a wonderful example of irony. A paragraph about the gift of writing ends with barely a fizzle. It was totally…not intentional. Actually we were supposed to write a page. I got to the end of the page and with a huge sigh of relief, I just stopped.

This week I have to write a 6 page exegetical paper for Intro to NT. That should be fun. I spent tonight doing most of the research. I’m writing on John 2:13-22; Jesus’ clearing of the Temple. I’ll share more on it next week. I’d hate to ruin the surprise.

Next week we’re out of school for Holy Week. I do have a paper to write, though. My 10 page final paper for Faith & Hope is due next Thursday. That should be fun. I’m pretty intimidated by having to fill 10 pages. We’ll see how it goes.

After that we have a week of class, then we’re off for ‘Reading Week,” and then we have finals. The semester is almost over. I can’t believe it. I also can’t believe I still have A’s in all of my classes. Maybe that will last.

This past week in Formation we were assigned to reflect on our “present sense of call.” Here’s what I wrote:

Formation for Ministry

April 7, 2011

Four months doesn’t seem like a long time. Four months ago, to me, seems like a lifetime ago. Four months ago I was restless, frustrated with my job, and uncertain of what my future would look like. In late December my wife asked a simple question. That simple question has taken our lives on a fast, furious ride that is only just beginning. That simple question has brought me to a place I wouldn’t have dreamed of 5 years ago. Ultimately that question opened my eyes and ears to God’s call for my life.

Now four months later I am more confident in that call than ever. I expect that confidence will grow. I know God is calling me to full time pastoral ministry. It’s odd to say that, or write it in this case. I know that God is calling me. I know what God is calling me to do. For many years I did not know. I didn’t know what God was calling me to do or even if God was calling me to anything. The only thing I was certain of was my uncertainty. That feeling lasted for years. That feeling makes this current sureness feel foreign. I’m not used to being sure.

I found out today that I am going to be appointed to a church in June. It is a part-time appointment to a small rural church. I am anxious and nervous. I am unsure of what to expect. Mostly, though, I am excited. I am excited to start my ministry. I am excited to pastor the church. I am excited to lead and love and minister to and with the people there. I feel like I am ready.

The last four months have been a blur. I’ve gone from restless and frustrated to sure and confident. I’m not used to confidence. I’ve gone from uncertain about my future to preparing to pastor a church. The ride has indeed been fast and furious. I can’t say it’s completely unfamiliar feeling or experience, though. In February of 2000 I felt called to full-time youth ministry. I mailed out a few resumes. In May of that year we moved our family to Birmingham for my first full-time youth ministry job. I used to tell people that apparently God was just waiting for me to hear and accept, and then he took off like a shot. This experience feels the same.

I expect the next few years to be rocky. I expect the next few decades to be rocky. I know this ride that I have started will have ups and downs, dips and dives, long hard climbs and free falls. Sounds kind of like a roller coaster, but I’d hate to use that cliché. Mostly I know there will be surprises. I certainly do not know where the ride will end. I do know that God is calling me to take this ride. I look forward to the climbs and falls and dips and dives. I think it will be a fun, fulfilling ride.

OK, I think I’m done now. It’s midnight and I have to go to work at 7:00 am. I’ll have more later.

I hope to get another Lenten devotional up tomorrow. If not it will have to wait until Wednesday.

Goodnight, Moon.