Broken Nicodemus, Broken Scott

I’m going to try to post some thoughts on Lent as we progress through the season. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I really like Lent. It’s probably my favorite season on the Christian calendar. I’m not sure why I like it so much. Well, part of it is the music. There are a lot of really, really good Lenten hymns. We do several at our alternative worship service at Edgemont. We use the Indelible Grace, updated versions. I like them a lot.

I also like the focus on the cross. Throughout Lent we look forward to Easter and the celebration of Jesus’ resurrection. We cannot, however, get to the resurrection without the crucifixion. So we look to the cross. In the cross we see our brokenness. We see our sinfulness. We also see redemption. We see salvation through God’s grace displayed in Christ crucified.

Last week in my Formation for Ministry class we talked about brokenness. My covenant partner for the class is one of the instructors. He is a pastor at a UMC church in Collierville. He said the focus on brokenness gave him a theme for this season of Lent. He planned to preach on the brokenness present in the lectionary scriptures each week. Specifically he planned to deal with the brokenness of the characters present in the gospel readings each week. Nicodemus; the

Samaritan woman; the blind man; Lazarus, Mary & Martha; Judas. All of them display some characteristic of brokenness.

Nicodemus particularly piqued my interest. He spoke specifically of him (probably because that was the text for the upcoming Sunday). In John 3 Nicodemus, a Pharisee, comes to Jesus at night, which implies secretiveness, to find out more about Jesus. Not because he opposed his ministry, but because he sought to learn more about this “teach who has come from God.” He mentioned that Nicodemus displayed brokenness in his unwillingness to get too close to Jesus, lest it change his life dramatically. That got my attention. Let me remind you of something I wrote 2 years ago and republished last week:

Over the last 5 years or so I have wavered between feeling called back into full-time ministry (not youth) and knowing that I have no place in ministry. I do not think I am called to be a pastor. Let me rephrase that. I know I am not called to be a pastor. I do not have the gifts or the skills (e.g. patience, people skills, forcefulness, charisma) needed to pastor a church. Then again Tim Corley once quoted me as saying, “God does not call the equipped. He equips the called.” I should not talk, ever.

Truth is, sometimes I feel it. Sometimes I don’t. Bottom line is, I’m not doing it; at least not right now. I’m not going to rule out some future in ministry of some type. For now though, going back to school and starting all over in a new career … no thanks. I’m too old and I have too much debt for something like that.

I’ll leave off the rest. I know the brokenness Nicodemus felt. For several years I didn’t pray or read the Bible very often. The main reason, even if it was a bit subconscious, was that I was afraid of what I would hear. I feared that if I got too close to God, I would hear God calling me into pastoral ministry. So I stayed away.

I would venture in close from time to time, just like Nicodemus. Sneak close under the cover of night’s darkness. But like Nicodemus, if I caught just a glimpse of truth, I would turn away. Ignore it. After the late-night exchange between Nicodemus & Jesus in John 3 Nicodemus disappears. He resurfaces briefly in chapter 7. There he is still a member of the Sanhedrin. The council is trying to have Jesus arrested and Nicodemus makes a statement about judging without a trial. It is a weak statement. A question really. “Our law doesn’t judge people without first giving them a hearing, does it?” Sort of an ‘almost defense’ of Jesus. But he is still afraid to get too close.

Finally after the ‘trial’ and death of Jesus it is Nicodemus who assists Joseph of Arimathea in preparing Jesus’ body for burial. He is finally ready to accept Jesus. Finally ready to step closer to God and accept the dramatic life change that step will bring. Some traditions say Nicodemus was martyred years later.

As most of you know, a few months ago I took that step also. I finally allowed myself to step closer to God. And I did, as I expected hear the call to pastoral ministry. I don’t expect to be martyred, nothing even close. I do know that I have invited a dramatic life change. I expect it will be a change for the better. I am excited about the future of my ministry. I am, in fact, itching to get started.

I’m going to try to post a short thought dealing with the Gospel reading for each week. Isn’t Lent fun!