A Sunday to Remember.

You already read about my Friday. Here’s how the rest of the weekend went.

Saturday and Sunday were largely uneventful and was pretty typical aside from the lingering feelings of unease leftover from our break-in.

Saturday consisted of the following: breakfast, HGTV, dog baths, lunch, grocery store, and dinner. Pretty ordinary as Saturdays go.

Sunday was a little less typical. I started the day as I do all but the occasional Sunday: playing guitar and singing. If you’re not a regular reader, I’ll explain. I help lead worship for the alternative worship service (The Edge) at Edgemont UMC (9:00 am every Sunday).

Following that I lead our Sunday School discussion. While not typical, this is not unusual.

Then it was off to lunch. For quite a while we’ve been going out to eat for lunch on Sundays. We started out letting one family member pick our destination each week. We took turns choosing each week. This worked for a while. Eventually, though, it became a chore. The kids were almost always unhappy with the other’s choice. That led to arguing. That led to screaming. That led to indigestion.

A few weeks ago we decided to change our selection process. We each took two slips of paper and wrote a restaurant on each. Then we dropped the slips into a paper bag. Each week someone picks a slip from the bag. We eat wherever the paper tells us to eat. No arguments. So far it’s worked well. This week we ended up at Applebee’s.

My son loves Applebee’s. He loves it for one reason. One reason only: boneless hot wings. He loves them. He usually eats about half and takes the rest with him. There’s only one drawback: the leftovers usually make him sick. I shouldn’t say usually, it hasn’t happened in quite a while. Maybe I should say, it hadn’t happened in a while.

After lunch I took a nap. A long nap. A great nap!

My wife and I had a meeting that evening. It’s getting a little redundant, but I’ll say it: it was a pretty typical meeting. Lots of words, little progress (at least proportionate to the amount of talking involved.) I won’t say it was an unproductive meeting, though. Just not efficient.

After the meeting we stopped by the Oscar Party at the Haddock’s for a few minutes. I ate some of their food (fried wontons filled with Nutella. Wow!) And collected my son (who’d gone over earlier.) Then it was home to watch the Oscars. Actually, I watched the Oscars. Misty did some reading for school. The kids ate dinner. My daughter had a ham sandwich and an apple. My son had left over boneless hot wings and a Nutty Bar. (I found out later.)

Eventually everyone was off to bed except for me. I stayed up and watched the entire Oscar telecast. Finally I was off to bed.

I lay in bed for a while watching the tiny 13” TV that has temporarily replaced our stolen set. I flipped through the channels trying to get settled in for sleep. History Channel, TLC, History Channel, Food Network, TLC, Food Network, Discovery (crap on Sunday nights), History Channel.

After about an hour of that back and forth pattern I heard one of the kids walking toward our room. My mind went immediately to the boneless wings. I looked over and my son’s face appeared in our doorway.

“I think I’m going to throw up.”

I could tell by his voice he was serious.

I yelled, “Then go to the bathroom!”

The kids’ bathroom is only a few steps from our bedroom. I’d say a total of 4 steps from our door to their toilet. I heard him take 2 steps before I heard the retch/splash.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t make it.”

“Go to the toilet.”

Another step. Another retch/splash.

“I’m sorry!”

At this point Misty was awake and we were both out of bed. We went together to survey the damage. I won’t go into detail, because you don’t want to read that. I’ll just say the bathroom was a disaster. Floor, walls, door, cabinets, toilet. It was everywhere.

Eventually he finished, cleaned himself up, and went back to bed. Misty and I were not so lucky. We spent an hour gagging our way through the mess. After showers and a little recovery time, the final tally of our losses included two hours, a couple of towels, most of a bottle of 409, a cup of bleach, several Clorox wipes, 3-4 wash cloths, two sets of pajamas, and a plastic mixing bowl.

It was a long, long night.

One thing is for certain, no more boneless hot wings. Ever!