187. FINALLY!!! Geez! Maybe I should actually start exercising?
Some kids are creepy, or at least have creepy habits. My children being your average normal children (aside from the fact that they are raised, at least in part, by me) are no exception. Luckily most of their creepy habits have passed with time and age. I’m sure, though, they will soon be replaced with other creepy habits.
Not long ago we were travelling to lunch and reminding our brood of some of those former habits. They of course did not remember ever doing such things. I assured them, and I assure you, they did.
Our son always seemed intelligent. He talked at a relatively early age. More impressively he started out, from the beginning, talking in sentences. Some of his first words were “Luke, I am your father.” As he grew older his vocabulary ballooned at a rate disproportionate to his increasing age. By the time he was 18 months old he could carry on an in depth conversation with most adults. He astounded many with the level of his verbal acumen. As a young toddler his favorite phrase was, “I have an excellent vocabulary.”
One day we realized part of the secret behind his orating skills. When we spoke to him he would listen and then whisper to himself. It sounds innocent enough. When we first noticed it, it was really creepy, because we didn’t know what he was whispering. Finally we realized he was repeating every word said to him.
“Son, you need to eat your breakfast.” “Son, you need to eat your breakfast.”
“Are you ready to go to the grocery store?” “Are you ready to go to the grocery store?”
What we thought was just creepy also ended up being useful.
Our daughter, on the other hand, had habits that were only creepy. She would also whisper when we talked to her. We thought, “Oh good, she’s doing it too.” But when we listened, we could hear no discernable words. She was just whispering.
I decided she was planning our painful, slow deaths. Remember, this is the same precious little girl who at age 3 clocked me in the head with a toy phone because I said something she didn’t like. I have no idea what it was. Probably because of the concussion.
We never really knew what she was saying, but this is at least close to what I imagined.
“You need to put your toys away and get ready for bed.” “I’ll put the toys away. I’ll put them a-way up your nose if you don’t shut up.”
“Are you ready for a bath?” “Yeah, I’m ready to drown you in the bath. How would you like that?”
This, unfortunately, was not her only creepy habit. Have ever been asleep when you get the overwhelming sensation that something is not right? Maybe you feel like something is watching you? You immediately wake up and look around. There’s never anything there, right? Not always true.
One night I was asleep and awoke with that feeling. Something was not right. I was sure someone was in the room with me. (Besides my sleeping wife, of course.) I rolled over to look around, just to make sure. As I rolled over I noticed a slight movement in my peripheral vision. My heart leaped into my throat, I let out a small yelp, and I quickly spun around to face the invader. There silently staring at me was my daughter.
“Daddy, I woke up.”
This happened numerous times. I would awake to find her sweet little face inches from mine. She wouldn’t wake me up. She wouldn’t make a sound until either Misty or I woke up. I have no idea how long she would stand there waiting. She just stood there.
Thank God, these habits didn’t last. Rather, the creepy habits were replaced by annoying behaviors.
· Repeat everything said to you as a question. – “It’s time to get in bed.” “Time to get in bed?”
· Mumble incoherently then get mad when misunderstood and asked to repeat yourself. – “Msofguh hgosher ouf iti.” “What did you say?” “Msofguh hgosher ouf iti.” “What?” “NOTHING, NEVER MIND!”
· Squealing for no good reason. (This applies to my son more than my daughter.)
So, now I’ll just wait for these to degrade into illegal practices then the journey will be complete.
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