Even as I start writing this entry, I know that it is going to be a whiny, needy offering. My apologies in advance. No comments needed. I guess I'll give it a goofy unrelated title to make up for the tone.
A few months ago I came to a troubling realization. I’ve mentioned before that in my former life I was a youth minister. I spent 10 years of my life (5 part-time and 5 full-time) pouring myself into the spiritual formation of teenagers. I loved it, and I always, OK, not always, most of the time maybe, felt I was pretty good at it. Not great; not amazingly gifted; but pretty good. But I digress.
In December I received a wedding invitation in the mail. One of my former youth in Kentucky was getting married. Since I’m no longer “in the business” I can admit that he was one of my favorites. I was excited. I drove to Paducah, KY a few weeks later for the wedding. I enjoyed the ceremony. I was able to see a few of my former youth. And Ethan was pretty excited (and surprised) to see me there.
I went to the reception for a little while since I didn’t get to talk to Ethan or the family much before the ceremony. While there I met the new Youth Minister at Broadway UMC (the church where I worked). We talked for a minute. She said something about me driving so far for a wedding. I told her, as I did several others, that I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
Then she made what, to her, was an off hand, benign comment. For me, though, it brought about a sad realization. She said something like, “After 10 years I guess you’ve done this a lot.” I realized then something that I had never thought about. This was the first and only wedding invitation I have received from a former youth.
I thought about that for most of the long drive home (which actually helped keep me awake). Several of my former youth are now married, but just one measly invitation has graced my mailbox. It makes me sad. I don’t dwell on it. But I do think about it from time to time.
There are still lots of them who are not yet married. And it’s a lot easier to keep up with people in the Facebook age. I’m sure there are more to come.
So far though, this ranks near the top on the list of great depressing facts from my life. Almost even with “Been in more funerals than weddings.”
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