Seminary Week 9

Two updates in two days...wow. I wrote this last night and thought I would post it today. Enjoy.

Well, I’m not sure I have an awful lot to update concerning seminary this week. That, of course, doesn't mean there’s nothing going on.

In Faith & Hope I am getting ready to write my final paper. This is, of course, based on the oral presentation I gave a few weeks ago (I made a 97 on it by the way). I think I have a good topic and I should be able to get plenty of information. I just hope I can get it organized in a coherent manner. This past week another member of the class gave a presentation on “Herod the Great & the Second Temple.” My topic is “Herod the Great’s Depoliticizing of the Temple.” Dr. Niang got all kinds of excited this week when the other guy started his presentation. It was almost like he expected us to wrestle over it. He really cracks me up.

This week in Formation, we talked about our call along with our ‘deep longing’ and how the two relate. As usual, I will include what I wrote:

Formation for Ministry

March 24, 2011

I believe my ‘deep longing’ and my call are directly related. I want to see the Church (the capital ‘C’ Church; the universal church) become what it should be. I want to see the church become more inclusive. I want to see the church become more accepting of people who are different. I want to see the church become blind to race, gender, sexual identity, income level, and any other divisive classifications. I want to see the church become more diverse. I want to see the church become less about the middle-class white people sitting in the pews and more about the community outside their walls; the world beyond their community. I want to see the church become known for the things it is for instead of all of the things it is against. I want to see the church become about love first.

So how does this relate to my call? As someone called into pastoral ministry I have an opportunity to help the church become all of those things. I have a chance to help the church out of the ruts that have held it in place for so long. I don’t know exactly how I can accomplish the task. I’m not even sure I can accomplish it. In fact, I know that I cannot. I can however try to push each congregation I pastor toward those ends.

So what about those “churning dark forces”? I see those as things that could keep me from pursuing that deep longing. They are obstacles, hurdles within me that I will have to clear on the road toward the better church I long for.

I have cleared one already. That first hurdle was the feeling that I was not cut out for pastoral ministry. For several years I thought God might be calling me to ministry as a career. Because of that I didn’t pray or read the Bible much, if at all. I was afraid that if I got too close then I really would hear God calling. Then I would have to actively ignore it. Instead I could just avoid the question altogether. Eventually I cleared that hurdle. But it is not the last.

Another of my ‘churning dark forces’ is my need to be liked. I want people to like me. Let me rephrase, I want everyone to like me. Believe it or not, this can cause problems. People do not always agree. People often dislike those with whom they disagree. People expect those they view as leaders to pick a side. You can deduce the rest.

I avoid conflict. In avoiding conflict I tend to avoid being disliked. I also avoid getting anything done. Pushing the church to become better will mean I’ll have to step on some toes. I will have ideas that people do not like. That will lead to conflict.

If I truly long for a better church, I will push the church to get better. If I push the church to get better, I will create conflict. I have to decide what is more important: avoid conflict or change the church. I think you know which I will choose.

To do that, I will have to fight my compulsion to agree with everyone. I will have to fight my compulsion to not hurt feelings. I will have to let myself not be liked from time to time. I will have to be faithful. Honestly, I’m not sure how I’ll do it.

I’m not sure where I heard this, but I’ve repeated it a few times. “God does not call the equipped, he equips the called.” I know it’s cliché. I know it’s cheesy. It’s also true. I know that God will help me overcome my churning dark forces and help move the church to be better.

In my Pastoral Care class we talked about grief. To begin class we watched a segment of Steel Magnolias. I’ve never seen the movie. We watched the part where *spoiler alert* Julia Robert’s character dies through her funeral. Pastoral care during times of grief is an is not something I look forward to. Strange, eh?

We also had our mid-term project due in PC this week. That paper gave me fits. I think I did OK with it in the end, but I guess we'll see when I get my grade back.

Intro to the New Testament is, well, in the words of David Byrne it is the “same as it ever was.”

And there you have week 9. So far things are going surprisingly well. But I have yet to see my grade on my PC Mid-term paper. It could head south at any time.