I cannot believe I am about to do this.
I am excited and nervous and ready to start and scared to
death and ready to run away screaming and… well, you get the picture.
I have not been in any sort of academic setting in over 14
years. I graduated from college over 14 years ago, and now I am going back to
school. This is insane!
Misty just finished Nursing School and the Nurse
Practitioner Program back-to-back, and now I’m going back to school.
The Boy is just 4 ½ years from stating college, and now I’m
going back to school.
I stood in line at the Bursar’s office today and listened to
the stories of a few of my fellow new students. It amazed me how many had a
very similar story to mine. “Felt a call for some time, but I ignored it.
Finally gave in (probably a bad choice of words) and now 2 weeks later (or one
week or three) here I am.”
That’s my story, too. Until a couple of months ago I was
trying to figure out how to talk to Misty about this undeniable, persistent tug
I felt toward seminary and ordained ministry. I’d spent the past year
struggling with how I could leave the family business (again) and begin my
career over again at almost 40 years old. I was miserable. Unhappy, unmotivated.
It probably showed more than I thought or wanted.
Where work was concerned, I literally felt like Jonah. Remember
the part where he runs from God’s call? God calls Jonah to preach in Ninevah. Apparently
the Ninevites had killed Jonahs dog or something, because he refused. Instead, Jonah
gets on a boat headed the opposite direction. God, being the persistent sort,
sends storm after storm to rock the boat. The boat lists and starts to fill
with water. The sailors start heaving things overboard to lighten the boat.
They pray to their gods to stop the storm. Finally Jonah figures out the
problem. He tells the sailors that the storms are his fault. Toss him overboard
and the storms will stop. Get rid of him and the boat will stop sinking. They
toss him. The storms stop.
That’s how I felt at work. There were storms. Storm after
storm after storm. We tried everything to right the ship (so to speak.) I felt
like I needed to go to my family and tell them, “Stop what you’re doing. I’m
the problem. Toss me over.”
I have no idea if the analogy will play out, but that’s the
stress I felt.
Now here I am, a whirlwind of activity later, going back to
school after 16 years. On the cusp of embarking on a new career.
Do you feel as if you've been vomited by a big fish recently?
ReplyDeleteI'm really excited for you! Of course you are scared... you'd be crazy not to be. But you will do well.
There's nothing wrong with a major career shift at almost 40. :-) You'll be so glad. It is an amazing feeling to be right where you're supposed to be!
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you, Scott, and maybe a smidge jealous. I have no doubt that despite the fears you have, this is the right-on thing for you to do. Go, brutha. Go!
ReplyDelete