AC2010 Plog Part 2

OK, here goes part 2 of my North Alabama Annual Conference recap. Once again, the notes I took at AC are in black. My post-AC commentary is in red italics. Just so you know, I got through 3 pages of notes yesterday. I’ve got 8 pages to go, not counting the handout from Adam Hamilton on which I took other notes. I planned to get this done in 3 parts. We’ll see.

Time for the Lay Session. This tends to be booooring. I hope I’m proven wrong.

1^st cell phone – 10:33 AM.

Time for a “brief” explanation of what it means to be a Lay Member of Annual Conference. Note: When creating a PowerPoint presentation, do not use a green background with red letters or vice versa. The PowerPoint was truly nauseating. Seriously. Here, let me demonstrate. It looked something like this. It stands out, but it’s uglier than a head-on collision between Shelley Duvall and Steve Buscemi!

My committees (ex officio) – Ad Council, Finance, Lay Leadership, SPRC. I already serve on 3 of the four. I didn’t know I was supposed to be on the Lay Leadership committee. Eric, is that right?

God’s Generous Disciples – Rick Owen

At this point we watched and listened to a presentation on stewardship. It focused on… well; I honestly can’t remember what it focused on. I don’t have the handout they gave me in front of me. I’ll recall more as I read the notes.

I do remember that the conference is planning to send a package to each church related to this program. The presentation deals with stewardship campaigns. There are a few different sections. Each one has a video associated with it.

The guy sitting next to me keeps sucking his teeth. It’s obnoxious. It was also quite distracting. He kept doing it over and over and over. Aaaahhhhh! This is why I don’t want people to sit next to me.

Nice video – “Me/Church: Where it’s all about you.” It was, of course, a satire. I found it on YouTube. Well done.

I’ll sum up this video in two words: Eye Shadow! Seriously! There was a girl in the video whose eye makeup reminded me of Mimi from The Drew Carey Show. Somebody needs to talk to that girl’s mother.

I want to find a new way to say “Hands & Feet.” The phrase “hands and feet of God” has moved into the realm of the overused cliché. I’m as guilty as anyone. I say it all the time. I’ve got to find another way to say the same thing. I like “Doing the work of the Kingdom.” Or just “Kingdom work.” I’m not sure it implies the same idea of us doing God’s work.

1) Clarify you Vision & Purpose. 2) Recognize God’s gifts. These were two of the sections of the presentation. I didn’t write down the others because they were on the handout. The handout I don’t have.

Bud & Linda Botcher – Shepherd’s Table – Tuscumbia 1^st UMC. I wanted to remember this ministry. They provide a meal along with a worship service every Sunday it’s open to anyone who wants to come.

Thank you notes to the congregation. Thanks for your generosity. This is an interesting idea. Not necessarily a letter, but a thank you card.

11:39 – ring #2

Open my mind. Open my eyes. Open my mouth. Open my heart. Give me strength to do your will. The presenter shared this prayer with us. It came from a Native American ritual he saw on a mission trip. He saw it as just motions. Touch the head, touch the eyes, touch the mouth, touch the heart, then a slight slap on the knees and palms raised up and out. He asked what it meant and was given the explanation above. Nice.

I’m going to start a list of words and phrases that are hereby banned from being spoken in church. I’ll add to it as needed. 1) Hands & feet of God, 2) Brethren. Feel free to add any phrases you deem necessary in the comments. I’ll add them to the banned list. Thanks!

We’re about half an hour away from the afternoon business session. I spent the last 10 minutes or so standing on a wooden covered bridge waiting for the rain to stop. It was nice. The rain never really stopped, but it slacked up enough for me to get to the building.

OK, seriously… Why do people keep sitting next to me? Tons of open seats. Tons! Apparently I didn’t look anti-social enough. That or I just pick really good spots in which to sit. I moved down to sit with Eric before the session started anyway.

“It’s not the time to come out of the closet. But I’m in love with a man.” “Jesus.” à Worship leader said this. I’ll leave any commentary up to you the reader.

John Funk gave the opening prayer via Skype from Bolivia. There is a 5k run tomorrow morning to benefit Mission2Serve. Consent Agenda passed.

Report on Amendments. These are the amendments to the Book of Discipline we voted on last year at AC. 5 of the 23 passed. I wrote down the numbers, but I’m not sure they are all correct. Here’s a report on the amendments. Here’s what I wrote down. 8. Gender. 9. 100 Delegates. 17. Laity on Committee of Investigations. 17. 23. I’m especially unsure about the last 2.

Lay Ministry team report

Wow. The rain is really coming down now. Clearbranch needs to look into some sound insulation for their ceiling. I thought it was nice to know that despite the difference in size between Clearbranch and Edgemont (2500 members vs. 300) our ceilings are much the same. Loud rain and loud creaks and pops as the sun dried the rain and warmed the roof.

The District Lay Leaders reflect the age discrepancies I wrote about earlier. Of the 8 one looked under 50. And I’ll add that only 2 or 3 looked to be under 60.

This woman (the Conference Lay Leader) is still talking and still boring me out of my skull. For 4 years now.

“We didn’t start as an organization. We started as a movement.”

I like the video. (Here’s a link. It’s amazing what you can find on YouTube.) “The church is you (plural).” “Connecting the unconnected & together becoming fully devoted to Jesus.” The actual quote from the video is this: “To connect the unconnected to Christ and together to grow in full devotion to Him.”

The cameraman needs to focus. Or I need to have my eyes checked. Nope. Not my eyes. He’s focused on the background.

Just finished the recognition of retiring pastors. I noticed one with 13 ½ years and 7 churches served. Another with 40 years served 6 churches and as a DS.

Now a recognition of pastors who passed away this year. I miss Matt Miller. Especially at AC. I miss not sitting with him and talking to him for 5-10 minutes over the 2 days of Conference. The Board of Ordained Ministry voted to give him the status of Provisional Member. Memphis Theological Seminary gave him a posthumous degree last month. The Conference presented his family with his stole and a certificate.

16 people are being licensed as Local Pastors. There was really no mention of those being ordained or those being commissioned as Provisional Members. Kind of odd. There was also not really any talk (as there has been in years past) of the discrepancies between the number of pastors who retired or dies this year and the number of incoming pastors. This is usually covered ad nauseam. I don’t think this means it is no longer a problem. Just not this year’s focus, I guess.

Cell phone ring #3 @ 2:17 pm.

Clergy Appointments are now fixed and available at northalabamaumc.org

“These are interesting times to be in leadership in the UMC.” – Dale Cohen. Eric wrote that quote in my notes. I assume that means he wanted to make sure it ended up in my recap. Thanks Eric!

There are two problems I keep hearing. 1) Declining Membership, 2) Lack of clergy. I wonder if these two will continue until they meet & equilibrium is reached?

Connection is not top-down. It is also not bottom-up. Churches reach out across each other for resources. Local churches are the primary resource of connectional ministry.

A group of 8 youth leaders (I assume that means youth minister/directors) and 16 youth will be coached by Mark DeVries to develop a new model of Youth Leadership for the Conference. For now Lori Carden will serve in youth leadership at the conference level. There was talk that conference youth ministry leadership would move over to Camp Sumatanga. I guess that plan is out the window. I wonder if that means that the position of Conference Director of Youth Ministries will return? I guess the 8+16+Mark DeVries will decide that.

$10 = 3 mosquito nets for Haiti. ß Disaster Response is leading this effort. They have a shipment of stuff going down there in July. They would love to send as many nets as possible. Consider a gift. Contact info is here.

Mark Byrne – Chair of the BOT at Camp Sumatanga. NAC gave $500,000 + a grant of $750,000. This all came about after AC last year in response to a plea from Exec. Dir. Bob Murray. Camp was about 2 months from death.

· Sumatanga is now debt free.

· Retreat revenue is up 30% over last year.

· Bob Murray resigned as Executive Director

· New Executive Director is Mike Coward. From Las Vegas.

Break---------------------------------------------------------------à

Time to vote on the budget. The conference budget is $130,000 less than last year. The total budget for 2010 is a little over $10 million. Giving (apportionments) is up in 2010 over 2009 through April. NAC is among the bottom in the South Eastern Jurisdiction for percentage of churches giving 100% of apportionments.

Why in a meeting where your cell phone should be turned off would you feel the need to wear your Bluetooth earpiece? A guy got up to make a statement or ask a question or something and he was wearing a Bluetooth thing in his ear. Seriously? You can’t take that out and leave it in the car or at least leave it in your seat while you ask your question? Are you expecting a life or death phone call while you’re up asking your question?

Why rail against Blue Cross/Blue Shield when the conference health insurance is provided by HealthFlex? Is HealthFlex part of BC/BS?

The lights on the backdrop turned red while the financial info is being presented. Significant?

So far we’ve had much more discussion regarding $100,000 than we had for the $10 million budget. This discussion was about taking $100,000 from the Pension Reserves and giving it (over 5 years) to the Central Conference Pension Initiative. CCPI provides pensions for ministers who retire in conferences outside of the US. Mostly in Africa. These people retire with nothing. This fund helps them survive after retirement. Consider a gift.

“Big wheels keep on turning” I can’t really remember why I wrote this down. I guess it was my commentary on the workings of our connectional church. Like gears on a complicated machine. Even the smallest wheel is important to keep the machine working. One wheel turns another. If one breaks, it can shut down the whole thing. I’m glad we approved giving this amount to CCPI. We turned a small gear to keep the larger wheels turning.

I can’t believe I forgot my belt. These shorts are almost impossible to keep up. Nothing obscene, but uncomfortable nonetheless.

Thus ends day one of NAC2010. If you want to read a probably more detailed and definitely more coherent recap go to the conference website.