No sir, I don't like it!

For this week’s Disciple Bible Study class Eric asked us to complete a Spiritual Gifts assessment (henceforth referred to as SGA). If you’re not familiar with this particular animal, I’ll give a quick description. Spiritual gifts, simply put, are personality traits that help us to do ministry (e.g. wisdom, prophecy, helping, teaching). Think of the assessment as a personality test that gives you an idea about what you should do in the church. (You can see an example here.)

I don’t like these tests. I think they are too easily manipulated. If I see where a question is leading and I don’t want to be that, then I’ll answer opposite what I might have otherwise. Confusing? Let me put it another way.

I do not want to be a pastor. I do not think I have been called to be a pastor, at least not at the moment. There were times when I thought I was being called; not anymore. Moreover, I do not want to be called to be a pastor. So, when I take a SGA if there is a question that leans toward that particular ministry track, I answer in a way that will lead away from it, even if it is contrary to the truth. Conversely, if there is some gift I want to portray myself as having, I will answer in a manner to lead toward that gift, even if it is not true.

I have said for some time now, that if we want to truly know what our spiritual gifts are we should have others take an SGA for us. Or let others evaluate our spiritual gifts. At least I thought that way until last night’s Disciple class. After we talked for a while about the spiritual gifts, we took turns listening as the rest of the class told us what they perceived to be our gifts. I didn’t like it.

It’s not that I didn’t like what others saw as my gifts. I didn’t like… well…

*CRAZY ALERT*

I’ve never been good at taking compliments. I’ve probably said that before. To be honest, I have self-esteem issues. Because of that, I’m not wild about receiving accolades. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. It made me completely uncomfortable to sit and listen while the class listed my gifts. No, I was beyond uncomfortable.

Well, I’m just weird like that. Now that I think about it, those same issues are probably what lead to me hating the SGAs.

It was, though, helpful to hear in what area others believe I am gifted. Quite a few lined up with what the SGA told me (the one I took as honestly as I could): Teaching. I like to teach. That was always my favorite part of youth ministry. Whether it was teaching a Bible Study or Sunday School or a lesson on sex, I enjoyed it.

So, all craziness aside, it was a good class. And all in all it was informative, even through the uneasiness of it all.