Junk e-mail, junk e-mail
time to read some junk e-mail.
It’s time to get your cialis and your porno.
Here we go again. It’s time to see what kind of junk mail is filling my inbox this week. Hold your nose, it could get nasty. (As always, the Junk Mail subjects are in bold. My witty commentary follows.)
· Don’t pay too much for drugs. Buy from us – I think this one came from our neighborhood discount crack dealer!
· Make better sex more often – I’m not sure one can “make” better sex. But then again, I’m a little naïve.
· Obama recommends Power Enlarge – Barak Obama is endorsing male enhancement products? Oh, he’s got my vote!
· More meat is what you need – I like it when the spammers are concerned about my diet. It’s nice. Oh wait, I read the e-mail. Nevermind. That’s not in my diet.
· Good dwight suggestion – I have no response to this…. none at all.
· Exercise caution in selecting your medication – Note to spammer. You completely shot yourself in the foot. Anyone using said caution will not order from you.
· ereganee – um… I’m going to use my better judgement and avoid the Corky from “Life Goes On” joke that entered my mind upon first reading.
· Don’t be unconcerned about your health – Why? Do you know something I don’t? Are you my doctor?
· Your future happiness depends on this – Apparently my happiness depends on becoming a “sex magnet.” That sounds sticky and smelly.
· wonder tic-tac – For fresh breath that lasts FOREVER!!!!
· Goodiest ax proposition – This is way better that the “Goodier hoe proposition” e-mail I got last week.
· Test your missles now – Apparently I’m getting Kim Jong-Il’s e-mail.
· Surprise her with the nicest bag in town – Believe it or not, this one has nothing to do with sex!
· Fight your incompetence in this field – This sounds like a scene out of Superman 2.
· You are about to get fired – Hmm, maybe I should stop writing at work… nah!
· Escape artist gets caught shopping – Wrong! David Blaine wasn’t shopping. He was trying to break the record for longest time spent in a Wal-Mart freezer.
· Latest crazy hip thing – My grandmother has a crazy hip. You’ve got to watch out for that thing when she starts dancing.
· Be the only supermacho in the city – I was excited until I realized it said macho. Not nacho. Dammit!
· Iran calls nuclear talks positive – Is it bad that I get most of my news from spam e-mails?
· You can look better for him – I’m not sure who I’m supposed to look better for. Who is him? And who do I want to look better for?
· Sarah Jessica Parker Arrested For Gross Negligee – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! No really, she’s gross.
· Man killed by flying cocktail glass – Better that being killed by a flying cocktail wiener, I guess.
· Breaking news: Aliens landed in Ohio – Better than a cocktail wiener landing in Ohio, I guess.
· Hillary Clinton naked video – DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!
· I austrailian – Hugh Jackman stars in yet another film version of I Legend.
· Boy eats cat daily – That poor cat. Wasn’t once enough?
· Get your main love weapon bigger – I’m not going to touch that with a ten foot love weapon. *rimshot*
· Batman is gay. Watch the proof – The proof was Batman Forever and Batman & Robin. (the atrocities that Joel Shumacher made in the series)
· failure notice – Well, I knew it. I guess it’s official now. I finally got my notice.
You can play with Junk E-mail
Fill your day with Junk E-mail
‘Til Scott’s bolg some more Junk E-mail for you!
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