24 Hours of Lovin'

If you are a new reader (yes, there are a few) then you probably think I update really often. That is the case lately. I think I’m going on 3 months with at least 3 entries a week. The long time readers know that a lapse is coming.

I’m going to try to take steps to prevent a long break. I am writing things and saving them to my computer as I think of them. Then I can post one a day until I run out. I have a habit of thinking of great blog topics when I’m not ready to do an entry. Then when I get ready to do an entry, I can’t remember what I wanted to write about. So far I have a backlog of zero. We’ll see how this goes.

I still plan to do a recap of my weekend at Annual Conference. I have not written anything from home this week and that’s where all of my notes are. See, this is why I need to write things in advance. Hopefully I’ll get to that tonight and post it tomorrow.

Writing this thing day after day has forced me to think about what I’m writing. Sometimes I have to remind myself that what I write is accessible to millions. I know that millions do not read it, but it is accessible to them. In my mind I tend to assign a level of importance to writing the blog that it does not deserve. It’s just one guy’s opinion and observations about life, faith, and politics with a few humorous stories thrown in the mix.

The dominant thought on the blog I’ve had lately is writing topics. I look at this thing as an online journal more than a blog. They are different. A blog is less personal than a journal. A blog reports the news of the day and offers commentary on that news. A blog tends to be specialized: sports, politics, space news, entertainment, air speed of the African swallow. I don’t do that. I do offer some commentary on the news of the day from time to time. Of course, I am definitely not specialized. I write about whatever is swimming through my brain that day. I journal.

I like to write about what’s going on in my life. I like to tell stories about what has gone on in my life. I like to share my opinion on the state of the world. But there’s a problem.

There is a lot going on that I do not write about. There are things that I’d like to write, probably need to write, that stay locked up in the vault of my brain. I don’t mind sharing some of my craziness, but some things will never make it out. The problem being, I wonder if they should.

I have a pretty good idea who reads this thing day to day. It is a mix of family, friends from church, friends from camp, acquaintances, old friends, and people I have never met. I’m sure there are others, but those are the categories that come to mind. Knowing who read this stuff affects what I write. It should, of course. A writer must write things that appeal to his audience, but I’m not a writer. I’m a journaler.

I struggle sometimes with what to write. More specifically, I struggle with what not to write. I know that everyone reading this does not agree with my opinions. I have no problem with that. I know that my opinion on some issues is completely offensive to some of you. That bothers me a little, but not enough to keep me from sharing those opinions.

The things I choose (so far) to not write about are things that could completely change your opinion of me. That’s my struggle. I joke here from time to time about my mind being a scary place. Some corners are scarier than others. There are things I feel like I need to write about. I need to get them out, but then I think about who will read them if I write it here. That stops me. It shouldn’t. I sometimes wish this were a little more anonymous. I’m probably being a little paranoid.

This entry may change the way you think about me. The human imagination is a powerful thing. Right now you are imagining the horrible things I’ve thought, seen, or done. What is so terrible that he cannot write about it? That’s ok. Imagine away. I’m pretty sure what you imagine is worse than what I’m talking about.

I needed to write this. I needed to remind myself why I started sharing my thoughts on the Internets. I needed to remind myself that I do this for me. That doesn’t mean you can’t read it. It also doesn’t mean that I won’t censor myself.

I appreciate everyone who reads this stuff, especially those who comment. I’m going to write for me, but I’m going to keep you, the reader, in mind. I hope you find it entertaining or enlightening or, at the very least, readable.